Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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