how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
