is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
