On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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