The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
