how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
