But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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