So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
