Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
