Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I AM VODKA MAN
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
