Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
