I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
