i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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