she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Randomize