The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I will pee on everything he values.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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