Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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