Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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