The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize