you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
