im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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