Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
