I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
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