in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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