went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
