was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
