i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
