Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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