just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
