I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
