But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wear drunk well.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
