just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
