My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
