Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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