Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
