you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
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So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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