I didn't shave. On purpose
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
