Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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