what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
