it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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