i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
