honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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