Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
