So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
