oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
