Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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