Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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