I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
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don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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