I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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