On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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