You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
