I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
