YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
