I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
