i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
this is an emotional support booty call
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
