what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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