He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
