She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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