Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize