rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
