Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
