You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?