We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he shaved USA in his pubs
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.