so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
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you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
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Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding