Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.