Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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