I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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