at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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