How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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