I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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