what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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