You're completely useless in the revolution.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
